Friday, April 9, 2010

lack of resources

I wish there was more help and resources available to people who aren't transitioned medically and still present as the gender opposite of their sex. I have three interviews next week for really big boy jobs. I am interviewing at three Physical therapy clinics to vie for being a full-time physical therapist. I am terrified about these interviews. I am really concerned about going on these job interviews. I don't know how to do it. I present as male, I live as male as much as I can except when I am competing, but my voice is very feminine and they have all talked to me over the phone and has assumed that I am a woman. I don't know how I go about it. I am going to show up, bound in a suit and tie looking pimping ;-) but I am so afraid of what is going to happen. Even though I am a new grad I am very qualified for these jobs and I am terrified that I am going to be judged based off of my gender presentation and assumed sexuality. I am trying not to assume that these employers are going to judge me based off of that but based off of my previous experiences I won't hold my breath. I wish there were more resources available on how you handle this kind of situation. How do handle meeting an employer who is under the impression you are female, then you show up and you are dressed like a man, trying your damndest to look like a man without raising eyebrows, bringing out peoples' insecurities and being judged because they either think I am the biggest dyke ever or some gender it. I don't know how to walk into that situation especially since the moment I talk I give myself up and interviews involve talking. I don't know if I say I am trans, I won't be medically transitioning for another couple years probably, so I know I don't really pass as I guy when I talk which is all the time i would really appreciate it if you used male pronouns. How the hell is that done without that affecting my possibility of getting a job. I am starting to wonder if I have doomed myself into a rock and a hard place by not transitioning and the effects it has on my day to day life. If anyone has any advice I would love to hear it. Thank you

1 comment:

  1. I didn't realize this made you so nervous. I hope you find your place. You're a good PT. They'll hire you and hopefully everything will fall into place.