Thursday, April 14, 2011
Above and beyond or just equal
Lately I have found and experienced that there is this assumption people have that when they respect my gender identity and presentation and appropriately call me by male pronouns even they know I wasn't born male there is underlying assumption that I owe them. I feel like this happens more so in the professional setting but definitely happens else where. It is really frustrating. People assume that by respecting my identity and by treating me like they would if I were male or if I were female and wanted to present as female that I owe them. I don't know what I owe them since all I am getting is the respect of me as a person that I show each of them everyday or they so each other every day. I don't understand why being treated as an equal correlates to being treated above and beyond or as special when an employer knows your trans and they respect your pronoun choice and treat me similar to others. I am happy that you do and I want you to and don't get me wrong I am grateful. But the thing is I shouldn't have to be grateful I shouldn't have to be so afraid to not be treated as equal that I feel obligated to stick around somewhere that isn't right just because my trans identity is respected. Nor should it be assumed that if you do respect me and treat me like a person rather than judge me and treat me like garbage that I some how owe you, that I have to make it up to you, that I have to go above and beyond what is expected of everyone else or else I am seen as a slacker. Nor should it be assumed that being so "understanding" is going above and beyond on their part and being especially awesome or whatever it is. I do not owe anyone anything for allowing me to be me as if they could allow me or should have that power. Treating me equally and like everyone else despite what you know about my identity does not make you special and have special power over me, and doesn't mean I am at your becking call and owe you a damn thing.