Thursday, October 29, 2009

Coming out

Where I grew up and how I grew up you didn't know what Transgender was. I always knew I was different, for instance I never knew I was gay until I was told by a psychologist that I was gay because I was a woman and liked women, I just automatically thought I was a guy. Once I was in College I took a class that briefly went into what transgender was and all that and it fit so perfectly it clicked. I started telling girlfriends, but they all left because I was ruining their lesbian identity. After awhile I thought it was a bad thing, it was a curse to be Trans, especially with sports. I had no idea what I was going to do, I was an all-american multiple times over, I was starting to get close to having options for continuing throwing outside of school once I graduated. Why did I have to be Trans? THat was all I could think, that was all I kept coming back to, was why was I Trans? I honestly kept asking that question till the last year, when I finally became ok with who and what I am. I was really worried about coming out to anyone else because I knew what the rules were for Transgender people, and I knew the NCAA didn't have any. I was also so afraid that my school would ban me from track, and track was the only thing I had at the time.
I finally decided to come out my senior year of College because I was going down a slippery slope and I didn't think I could pull myself out if I didn't come out. Before I came out I was cutting everyday I knew I had to come out, when I finally really hurt myself because I couldn't live like that anymore. When I came out as trans I did so with the understanding that I was not going to be taking T or having any surgery. I first told the Athletic director, and my professor mentor since the women's track team was getting a new coach and we needed to game plan. Both of them were awesome and helped me cover all corners at the time. That was the spring semester of my Junior year. After that I had to tell my parents.
Telling my parents to date has still been the hardest of everyone. When I told them I made sure I would be able to leave and it was towards the end of the summer. My mother just cried and cried, my father told me I ripped his heart out, and killed a part of him. I left their house shortly after that.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you, Corbyn

    Your voice is important for us to hear. Keep writing-you make sports a better place for all of us!